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Our baby is born.

Where I last left off, I'd just had an epidural put in & was waiting to dilate that last stubborn cm so that we could get things moving. They covered me up in a blanket and left to let the epidural do its thing, advising me to rest. I'm nearly ready to have a baby and they want me to rest. Okay, not happening. What I did do was come down with a massive case of the shakes & shivers. My whole body would literally not stop shaking. Ehsan captured bits and pieces of the that and my teeth were chattering the whole time. I kept trying to move my legs, and freaking out when I could barely control my little toe.

I know, that's the whole point of an epidural, but I was positive I was paralyzed. It was a really frightening feeling, maybe because I hadn't expected to use one. Scary stuff. I spent the majority of this waiting part staring at the contractions monitor. After what felt like hours, but was only actually around 30 minutes, nurse came back to check me. 10 cm. She disappeared to get the doctor, and I started having flashbacks. Cue panic. Lots of panic.

That being said, I was completely and utterly determined that I would have control of my pushing stage. No, I couldn't feel contractions, but I'll be damned if I was going to go this far and not push my son out myself. Ehsan surprised me by wanting to stay down at the business end, as I'd assumed he'd want to be out of the line of fire - he was such a good help. It was just me, him, our one nurse & the doctor - nice and calm and comfortable.

They guided me through - each contraction, I pushed, new breath, re-pushed, and so on and so forth. We weren't at it for very long before people started getting excited - I shouldn't have been surprised at this, as his head had been so low and engaged. As his head began to crown, the doctor walked me through my breathing & pushing, and guided things along to help everything stretch. He progressed quite quickly, and the head was out quite fast. The doctor congratulated me on my pushing, and said that if I coughed, he'd likely fly straight out - and I laughed.

As another contraction started, we got down to business, and one push later, he was born. The doctor gave him straight to Ehsan, and had him hand her up to me. After a quick check to make sure his cord & my placenta were still okay, Ehsan gave me my baby. My baby. He had the typical cone head look and was very quiet, just making tiny squawks. I couldn't believe how chubby he looked.

I was able to hold him and hug her for just a minute, before nurse asked if she could take him and give her a rub down to rough him up a bit. This was when things got scary, and a little disappointing. I stayed on the bed post-delivery and finished off the birthing experience, with doctor walking me through what was happening with both me and baby. I did, however, have a small rip internally, which the doctor said he'd prefer to stitch to make it heal faster - but if I wanted, I could leave it be. The quicker I healed down below the better, so he put in a few stitches and that was that.

As for the baby, he wasn't screaming like you'd expect newborns to do, but was making softer cries, a bit like a kitten. They suctioned his mouth and throat to help remove some mucous, but he was still very shell shocked. His initial score was a 9. At the time, I thought that the baby would then be returned to me. I was anxious, hating that I couldn't be with him - my epidural was in the process of wearing off, but I needed to stay in bed and glad that hubby was there. As I waited, I played with my legs, wiggling my toes and hoping they'd come back to me soon.

The birth itself went quite smoothly - last minute epidural aside, the post-birth happenings were not what I would have ever expected. I got to breastfeed my baby after the birth and holding her was the last I'd have for a full day after that. Skin to skin, I have the chance to see if he'd suckle during breast feeding. It certainly was the ideal hospital experience.

During our time in hospital, I went through the emotion of being near to my brand new baby, of having other people caring for him, of worrying about whether he was breathing properly, or eating enough. Well, it was a lot to go through. I have the utmost respect for parents who have go through this.

The important thing is, we ended up with a beautiful, perfect baby boy. He is 18 days old today, and has brought us so much joy already - we still find ourselves looking at him and wondering how we got so lucky.

Welcome to the world, Khalef.